friday confession

I was going to blog about priorities today.
How they should rank:
1. God
2. Husband
3. Children
4. Home
5. Friends, Ministry, Hobbies, etc.

I was going to blog about how they really rank:
1) God
2) Husband
3) Children
4) Friends, Ministry, Hobbies, etc.
5)
6)
7) …
…1,246) Home
{you get the idea, my home suffers}

Don’t ask what the 1,241 things are between #4 and my Home. Numbers 1-4 do a good job of filling my time, and I’m pretty sure if not for the butt whooping practices of the Holy Spirit, I’d fill all those slots with anything other than house work.

But I can’t blog about that today because I’m fuming.
Someone said something to me yesterday that I’ve been stewing on.

A Target worker asked where I was from, and what brought me to Hawaii.
I responded that, I’m an Army wife.”

Her response is what has had me stewing.
I was just trying to buy pull-ups and was very eager to reward myself for a pull-up-buying-job-well-done with some Starbucks when she stopped me in my tracks with,
“I would hate loosing my identity in my husbands profession. Here’s your receipt. Have a nice day.”

It pulled me up short and left me speechless. {which is a feat in it’s own right and worth a gold star}

Fast forward to today.
I read a blog post from a person I respect creatively.
Her blog focuses on her creative pursuits and although she is a Navy wife, she has never made that a focus.
She was echoing the same sentiments as Lady von Tactless in Target.
It set me to thinking and irrationally blogging. {which i guess you could put in one of those blank spots ahead of my home because it’s a mess}

My identity is not lost!

Here is where my identity lies:
{not-so-coincidentally it lines up with that list where my house ranks below NFL football games and underwater basket weaving}

I’m a child of God.
When all else fails, my entire identity is wrapped up in that.
I am married to the most amazing and humble man. Period.
{bee tea dub—that fact is indisputable.}
Now although my husband is a Soldier and having an identifier wrapped up in his job doesn’t phase me, that is because it is his job. If he worked at a traveling carnival I would be just as happy to say, ‘I’m a carney wife.’
I am blessed to be the mother of two wonderful children.
To raise them is an honor and a challenge I do not take lightly.
To leave it at those three would please me and and I will box if you try and diminish the importance or rank of those roles.
{i will float like a cadillac sting like a beemer. anyone? anyone? am i the only one who can quote pixar movies at length?}

Here’s why I choose to identify myself to the masses as an Army Wife.
Because I am married to a soldier who is confident of where God has placed him. God has placed him and our family in this Army.
Because I value marriage and respect my husband. I am honored to be able to refer to myself as his wife.
Because we live life on mission and our immediate mission-field is the people we serve alongside with in the Army.
Because even though the Army itself doesn’t rank in the top three, it does dictate large portions of our lives, from where we live, who we are in community with, where we shop, and the overall direction of where our family is going.

I know lots of military spouses who hardly acknowledge the military and it doesn’t really affect their day-to-day lives. Their husbands put on a uniform daily and they shop at the commissary, but that is the extent of the impact.
I also know lots of military lives who are super hooah! {or whatever the navy, air force, etc. equivalent of being hardcore is. although i don’t know if you cannot be a hardcore marine or marine spouse. i also don’t know if there is a hardcore version of a coastie.} The ones who tend to mask their frustration at the negative sides of the military by being SO patriotic and SO pro-military that they are blind.
I think both groups have their issues and are a bit naive.

Whether a military wife chooses to realize it or not, to their husbands their military service is an identifier for them.
Whether they are super hooah or they just happen to wear camo to an desk job in finance, basic training would have trained them to be a soldier first, an accountant second.
I think it is wise to acknowledge that.

  2 comments for “friday confession

  1. Eric
    05.6.2011 at 19:37

    Huh. It still seems to me like it would be much more fulfilling to find your identity in a career, for example as a Target cashier.

  2. 05.7.2011 at 19:06

    dear target worker,
    SERIOUSLY?! *something along the lines of… things i shouldn’t say so i won’t*

    Sorry Megs. I love that you’re an army wife, that you wear the badge proudly and that your entire life is lived in abundant support to your husband. love it. one of many favorite parts about you.

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